'Destiny' - The Clear Winner (Part 2)

Suyyash had arrived, accompanied by his parents and his elder brother, Shiv! They were accompanied with that man, who once meant everything to me. I was totally shocked seeing him right before me, again, pretending to know him formally. It was such an awkward meeting! How can I even look at someone else! Everyone seemed happy, while I hid my shivering hands, which were cold and sweaty.

Both the friends were happy meeting with each other after years. Suyyash did not speak much, nor did Shiv. I hated his presence at my home. Why was he even there? He must have seen my photo. Then why the hell did he even bother to come? On top of that, he was acting indifferent to my presence! Did he forget his accusations? Is he okay for his own brother to marry a gold-digger?

What do I do now? How do I tell my parents I had paid no attention to that person who came all the way to meet me? My parents remained confused, whether to consider my silence as my tacit agreement or disagreement. I had no clear answer to their questions. Whether to say yes or no! Thanks to Suyyash who intervened and bought for some time to consider the proposal.

Mind and heart were not in sync! The person I was trying to forget is standing right before me and people are expecting me to choose someone else. Why is so difficult? Why is it getting into my head? Why can’t I decide? Why did Shiv call me a gold-digger? Why did he have to damage that moment that could have been the most beautiful time? Was he so much into his ex-wife that he started hating every woman? No! I don’t think so. This is real life, not movies. We can overcome grief if we want to.

The next morning, I woke up exhausted! For the first time, Monday blues seemed real. I did not feel like going to office, still reluctantly I got ready and left for office. I was called for a team meeting. The Director introduced us to the new Senior Project Manager. Everyone welcomed him. However, I was in for another shocker! All these days, his memory followed me everywhere. Yet again, he stood right there, before my eyes. Shiv had joined my team. Oh no! Not again! I am trying my best to get him out of my head and now this. What do I do now? I left my first company to move on. Seeing him standing before me, that night flashed before my eyes. I didn’t understand how to react! Why did he join this company? That too in my project!

“Sia. Sia. Where are you lost?” I heard my Lead asking me. I was lost somewhere and now I am back to the meeting room.

“I think she is unable to express her happiness. After all, she was the youngest team member I got to work with” replied Shiv.

All I could think of was ways to get him out of my mind. The more I let him control my surroundings, it will get even difficult for me to move on in life. I had enough of him! It was high time I let go off the daunting memories of Shiv.

I decided to give it a try and started talking to Suyyash. I was aware that there might be consequences, but I knew I wasn't the first girl to not marry her first love. We met over a coffee that weekend and started with a casual discussion about our careers. Gradually, we delved into a conversation about our perspectives and aspirations, which felt a bit awkward for both of us. I couldn't help but notice that Suyyash was quite practical, while I tended to be more emotional. We turned out to be complete opposites, with no common ground where our thoughts aligned. Then, I asked him about Shiv. It was evident that he had anticipated that question. He told me that Shiv got divorced seven years back and had decided not to get married. However, two years back he mentioned about a girl from his office. He did not say anything clearly about her. His family assumed that he was seeing that girl. Later, upon persistently asking Shiv, he said she had already left the company and moved on.

For a moment I felt like Shiv mentioned about us. But why would he do that? It was one sided, he was not interested in me. So, who could that girl be?

I started talking to Suyyash everyday after that day, mostly over phone or video calls. He lived in a different city, so meeting him frequently was not an ideal option. He was a nice person, but we were quite different from each other and our mentalities were poles apart. I was not convinced that he was the right partner for me.

On the other hand, I tried avoiding all sorts of conversation with Shiv. He approached several times over office Skype and on tea breaks. My anger hadn’t subsided. I was pissed at him for misunderstanding me. Even if two years had passed, that day remained afresh.

I was stuck in between two sides of a coin. One part of me sought answers to the humiliation, while other part wanted to teach him a lesson! However, one day I was caught off guard! It was late in the evening when I was waiting for the bus. Out of no where Shiv appeared before me and started talking.

“Sia, you haven’t spoken to me since that day.”

“Which day Shiv? I don’t recall anything.” He understood the sarcasm behind my words. His guilt tripping face had conveyed his apologies before he said it explicitly.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have over-reacted. I haven’t felt good since you left. I really wanted to talk to you, but you avoided me every time. In fact I joined your team so that I can…”

“So that you can prove me a gold-digger. Isn’t it? Listen Shiv, I might be naive, but not stupid not to know you joined because of a good package and not for me. I mean nothing to you. I prefer to live in reality and not in some delusion about a childish love story. Your brother and I might get married in future.”

“That’s why you were uncomfortable the whole time yesterday, isn’t it? Do you really intend to marry him or are you fooling yourself?”

“So what do you want me to do? Say no to your family?”

“Marry me, Sia. That’s what I want!”

Did he really say it or was I dreaming? I pinched myself twice to get back to reality. His explicit expression had bout of jitters in my body and I left that place immediately. It was hard to believe, he really said it. But why? Literally we haven’t spoken for years, then why now?

“Sia, I know you are still upset about whatever I said. I am really sorry for ruining your idea of love story. I could have said it politely. It wasn’t your fault at all, but mine. That day I was at my lowest. It was the same date when I lost my child.”

‘Lost my child?’ What was he referring to? Did Shiv and his ex-wife have a child together? I asked him, with a lowered and curious tone, “What had happened to your child?”

“I had no idea my wife, my ex-wife was pregnant. She went ahead with an abortion without informing anyone. Later she portrayed that abortion as miscarriage to harass me and my family for causing mental trauma that worsened our situation. You know Sia, I badly wanted a child. I was so desperate to fix things that I was okay to accept her ridiculous demands. But as time went on, the circumstances only grew worse, and her accusations became more and more severe. I reached a breaking point where I couldn't handle it any longer, and in that moment of despair, I tried to slit my wrist. Thankfully, my father noticed my distress and intervened, preventing me from doing something so foolish. Even to this day, I can't help but feel a sense of dread when I think about that dark moment in my life. Sorry Sia, I was out of control when I heard about your crush. I was not in my senses. I might have looked normal to you, but I was far from being normal. I was blinded with anger, of course it had nothing to do with you. But unfortunately, you became the victim of my rage. I am sorry Sia, genuinely sorry for that day. You are one of the best person I have met. You are kind, empathetic, logical, hard-working,…”

“And a gold-digger, isn’t it Shiv?”

Please forget that I said it. Please! I am already guilty about it. “You are far from being one! I realised it after you resigned and never spoke me to after that. You avoided me during your notice period and I too refrained from any further conversation. I swear, I never considered you a gold-digger. I just blurted something so hurtful.”

“Anger? Not just anger, you trapped me that day. You knew very well, I can’t avoid you at office, so you took this opportunity in the pretext of dropping me home. Isn’t it? No more Shiv. I was a fool back then, not falling for your words anymore.”

I started crying. Started accusing him of making me feel like a foolish teenager. I vented everything I wished to say him earlier during that fateful night. He was so mean to me, so rude, while I loved him with all my heart. He named me something I never thought of and what not! I also called him ‘judgemental oldie.’

“Sia, I know I had overreacted. Irrespective of circumstances, I should have acted with maturity and should have understood that you were not connected to my past. How would you know about my divorce? I am the only to know about the abortion, everyone believed it to be a miscarriage. I did not have the courage to reveal this. Apart me from me, you are the first person to know this. That day, I was fuming with rage. For once, can we please move on from that day? Tell me something honestly, assuming that we get married tomorrow do you really think we will have rosy days everytime? As a couple, we cannot be romantic and cozy all the time. We shall witness struggles, anger, breakdowns, disagreements, arguments and a lot more than few romantic moments. Does that mean we don’t love other? Sia, relationships do witness ups and downs. It also includes forgiving each other every time and move on. That’s how commitment looks like. It means choosing each other every single time. Then why can’t you forgive me for one mistake? I totally agree it was completely my fault, but please understand my situation. I was going through a lot. If you don’t understand me then who will?”

You want to marry me, right? Then do one thing “say this to your family.” And I left that place.

Later that day I gave it a thought. Shiv wasn’t wrong completely. If I start reacting to every mistake and take it too far then I can’t be happy with anyone. It is so important to understand each other’s situation.

Next morning, I was in for a surprise when Suyyash came over for breakfast. Upon seeing me, he blurted “So, you are the girl? You are the girl my brother was talking about?”

Sometimes in life, you get surprises disguised as a shock! Five years before, this question of Suyyash was one of those shocks which returned everything I had once lost! If it was not for him, I don’t think my love story would have been complete today. I don’t know why Shiv was so important to me! Was it truly my love for me or an obsession? Five years already! Those days, convincing families was similar to conquering battle. Five beautiful years of marrying Shiv! Never had I imagined in my wildest dreams that one day my wish would come true. That one day, I will be the mother of his daughter. There was a time I lived with agony about the humiliation I faced. And then there is today, living my happily ever after!