'Destiny' - The Clear Winner (Part 1)

I, Sia, started my career as a fresher in a multinational company. After undergoing an intensive training program lasting six months, I was assigned to an implementation project. The project team consisted of twenty members, including two project managers named Shiv and Nimisha (Nimi). Shiv was our onshore project manager, while Nimi served as the offshore lead. I was a curious soul, questioning the tiniest details shared over emails or calls. I was always eager to learn and understand every little detail that was conveyed to me. I owe it all to Nimi, who patiently answered all my questions and helped me clear any doubts I had. As time went by, I became accustomed to working with this particular client and gradually became more efficient in developing applications based on their requirements. A year later, we successfully implemented the software without any major issues that could disrupt production activities. This achievement called for a celebration to appreciate the efforts put in by everyone involved. Additionally, Shiv had returned to India after three years, so our seniors had organized an outing at a nearby resort.

That's where I met Shiv for the first time. What a good-looking man! I mean if you just take a glance at him, he would appear as an average looking guy, tall and no so fair. But for reasons unknown, I found him really attractive. I quite liked the way he handled things around him. Be it work or fun, he was good at both. Not only me, but the entire team knew about his abilities of handling tuff situations tactfully, though I was the last in our team to know him. Shiv was also humble and kind human.

I started observing him at work. At times, I would get distracted from work when he came around. Literally started daydreaming about him! I had never felt those butterflies before, ever for anyone! I felt soft tremors in body with him passing by. Whether in cafeteria or in cubicle, the moment he stood near me, my heart would race. That was unusual! It was a feeling I had never experienced before. His thought itself was enough to make me smile!

Without even realising, my infatuation had transformed into genuine feelings. My parents gave me everything I desired. But it was Shiv who made me feel different. For the first time, I wanted to be loved like a woman. I desired to hold his hands, stay by him and proudly call him mine. Call it hormonal rush or my crush, Shiv meant a lot to me. However, approaching him directly would be a total embarrassment. How do I do it?

Only person who could help me - my friend, Avi. That day, I told Avi to meet me alone at office cafeteria. There I disclosed before Avi that I have a crush on Shiv, who is literally ten years older to me. First he laughed at me and then promised to help me. But before he promised, he wanted to see Shiv. Then, we made a plan - Avi would come to my cubicle in the pretext of seeing me and then he can see Shiv. He followed the plan and came to my cubicle. Then we went out. He started laughing hysterically and asked ‘Sia, is he really the one? How come your choice be so bad?’

I was offended. “Why? What’s the problem with him?”

“I had high hopes from you.”

“Stop it Avi. Otherwise I am gonna kill you. What isn’t good about him? Personality, looks, he’s got everything.”

“No way I am helping you. Look at him! He appears to be dealing with mid-life crisis.”

“Oh please! He is just thirty three, not hundred. Don’t you dare deny helping me! Otherwise…”

“Okay. Okay. If you really want to continue with him then listen to me. Don’t tell him anything directly. This is office, you will end up getting in trouble for harassment. Try to know more about him. It is important for you to know whether he is really the person you believe or it is your assumption! And then, if you still wish to go ahead, give him cues, subtle ones. Let him understand your hints. Let him come to you and not the other way around!”

“What if he doesn’t understand?”

“He will. As you said he is got skills, then you are not the first girl to fall for him. He will understand. Inspite of that, still if he chooses to ignore, accept the fact that he doesn’t feel the same for you. Okay. Men understand everything. They just avoid unwelcomed attractions.”

I agreed. I had no idea about Shiv’s taste. Now how do I woo him? I can’t even ask this to anyone in team. Nimi was his best friend. I can ask her indirectly. It’s difficult though. I did everything I knew, wore the best, tried looking good, tried spending more time around him, had random conversation during tea breaks, and so on. I did all this for a man! Never thought I will see this day! However, nothing seemed to be working!

Six months had passed. Scenes had changed at workplace. My workload increased and I had to stay late at office. One day, it really got late at work. About 10pm Shiv told me he could drop me home since my apartment was before his place. As it was raining profusely and office had shortage of cabs, Shiv had come to my rescue. Well, who would miss a golden opportunity! I happily agreed though I pretended to be hesitant. I walked with him to the parking lot, got into his car and left for home.

It was 10.30pm already. I started having small talks with him. Out of the blue he asked “Instead of beating around the bush, why don’t you tell me directly?”

“I didn’t quite understand. What are you referring to Shiv?”

“Come on Sia, don’t you like me?”

Shit! How did he find out? Was it so obvious from my behaviour?

“I know. I heard you talking to your friend in cafeteria. So, what do you like about me?”

I started blushing. But before I could tell him anything, he said “Don’t you find my bank account enticing? After all I have earned way too much at onsite. Isn’t that the best thing about me?”

I was stunned. Did I imagine this or he actually said it? I looked at him with a shocked face. He continued sarcastically “Am not I a sugar daddy material?”

What the hell? Is this what he thinks of me? I looked at him with sheer disgust, without uttering a word! We stopped at the signal. At that moment, his words were not funny, but offensive. I could not handle that insult, so, I took my bag and got out of his car. I walked past the vehicles in the middle of road, astonished what happened few minutes back. I could feel the blood rush throughout my body. Is he really this person? Did I fall for such a man who is obsessed with money? Is this the pride he carries? Disgusting! It was matter of minutes that he stooped quite low in my eyes. I could hear his faded voice calling me back. I went to the bus stop and sat there, cluelessly. He came to me and insisted on dropping me home as it was raining heavily. But I didn’t bother and went home in a cab. I refrained from even looking at him.

His words shook me to the core. He neither looked guilty nor he felt the need of talking about it. I never intended to consider his money as mine. All I wanted was his attention, his touch, surrounded by his love. Suddenly everything came crashing down with how he portrayed my feelings. Since then I decided to avoid him as much as possible. I stopped going for tea breaks with team, avoided eye contact with Shiv and never spoke to him. I was ashamed at my choice. I understood, staying back at office isn’t a good idea anymore. I started looking for jobs outside. It was a bit of risk, however, worth taking. That time I could do anything to stay away from him. Luckily I got another offer within a month.

I called Avi to cafeteria. He wasn’t aware of whatever had happened. He asked me couple of times, yet I avoided that discussion.

“Avi, I am resigning.”

“All of a sudden? What happened Sia? You are acting weird since a month? Has it something to do with that oldie?”

I disclosed everything, whatever happened that night.

“I am scared Avi, embarrassed too. What if someone finds out?”

“Sia, if he had to inform people, he would have done it by now. So don’t worry. If he is the reason behind your resignation, then reconsider it. Do you think you will find a better team?”

“They have given me a hundred percent hike. I don’t want to leave this opportunity.”

“Okay. When are you submitting it in portal?”

“After going back to cubicle. I will submit exit form in portal and then inform Nimi about it.”

“I would suggest talk to your manager before resigning.”

“I don’t want anyone to persuade me.”

I went back to my cubicle, filled the details in portal and submitted resignation officially. A mail got triggered to the HR, Nimi and Shiv. Nimi scheduled a procedural meeting with me. She asked me questions about the new offer while I made it clear that I won’t revert. I thanked her genuinely for giving me the opportunity to learn. I had to serve notice for two months.

My last working day arrived, and it was Shiv’s birthday too. Team wanted to surprise him. He hadn’t celebrated his birthday for the last five years. That’s exactly when I got to know an important news about him. Five years back Shiv had an ugly divorce. He, along with his family, were accused of mental harassment. Though he had married his school time girlfriend, they ended up in an ugly divorce battle. Based on the seriousness of allegations, Shiv almost lost his job and had slipped into depression.

While I was lost in thoughts regarding him, I heard someone calling my name. It was Shiv. Team had a celebration planned for my last working day too. He had come to invite me. That was the last time I saw him.

Two years had passed! I had joined another company. Owing to my performance at work, I was promoted. Workload had doubled as compared to my first project. Along with that, I began travelling and trekking. Life was fulfilling! Still, there was one thing my heart was aching! I couldn’t let go off Shiv. Practically there was no chance. But, it was beyond my control to stop thinking about him, even after years. I had never uttered his name in this two years, but how do I get rid of his thoughts? He was always there!

I was already twenty-five. My parents were actively searching for potential marriage prospects for me. One day, a close friend of my father's expressed his interest in having his son marry me. Curious, my parents showed me a picture of Suyash on my mom's phone. Suyash appeared to be handsome, came from a respectable family, and was the son of my father's friend. Considering these factors, my family was content with the proposal. Personally, I had no valid reasons to reject their suggestion, so I gave my approval. Then, my parents invited Suyash's family for a lunch gathering.

It was Sunday around 10am. The guests arrived. It was more like a family get together rather than a formal meeting of two families along with the to be bride and groom. And how could there not be a twist!

“What the hell! Shiv?”